Accepting shifts in Sexuality with your partner. (Bisexuality)

During my marriage my husband’s sexuality shifted.

I had to learn what that meant.

My partner was no longer interested in just women, but men as well.

He developed the desire to explore not just beyond our marriage, but with another sex, his own sex.

Accepting and understanding my partner’s sexual preferences was difficult as someone who has always been heterosexual. My partner had desires for both sexes just like I had desires for one sex. I had to accept this fully to be in an intimate relationship with him.

I learned that it was crucial in that time to accept him for who he was. Once I did, the two of us moved forward and created a relationship where he could experience his bisexuality and feel supported in his exploration.

My marriage became non monogamous.

Through allowing my husband to experience his sexuality entirely, my marriage became non monogamous.

Where this went and how the two of us decide to explore this was up to us. Experiences took place that warranted new levels of profound grounding in my relationship, I ended up in places I had never been before, and I loved it.

I had left my traditional relationship and found something entirely unique for myself and my husband to develop and enjoy. I realized I was allowed to do this, my experience with my husband would always be entirely my own. I learned to fully accept him as bisexual. This meant becoming non monogamous and because we wanted to remain in love I accepted this path for us. We had been together for 12 years, and I knew on some level that this drastic change would encourage the love we had for each other. It also became an opportunity to explore my sexuality more deeply as well.

Have you found yourself in love with a bisexual partner?

You do not have to know what the next steps are going to be, focus on acceptance and understanding. Allow your feelings to come up as they will, and don’t judge yourself as this situation is not one where we typically have control. Ask yourself if your perceptions of traditional marriage or relationship resonate with you entirely, or if they are simply something you have been taught and learned to accept.

This process will ground your future decisions so that if you choose non monogamy, you can avoid constantly questioning his bisexuality or the non-monogamy in your marriage.

This is not an easy shift in belief systems, but it is crucial in maintaining the bond you have built with your partner so far. Focus on your desire to support your partner, and for them to feel satisfied entirely as you have always wanted them to be.

Once you move into a place of acceptance, you can start to feel and relate to the adjustment. as strongly as you have to the traditional heterosexual, monogamous experience of a marriage. Remember that these new relationship structures are developing more frequently and as Esther Perel states in her book The State of Affairs, “We are touching the new frontier, where sex outside can live within a marriage.”